Sometimes things happen and you have no earthly idea why. I am sitting here wondering what i did wrong to make him so mad at me that he didnt come home.
He called me and asked did he need to buy something for dinner and lunch or did I cook. I told him that we would have to buy something because I was not feeling well. Once that was said he started in on me about using a different dish cloth to wash dishes and one to clean the stove and counter. I advised him I was not feeling well and as long as it got cleaned what was his problem. He then starts screaming about bugs and getting sick and I told him we will talk about it later that i was sick. The next remark made was there is no need to talk about it. This is the last time i will tell you. OK so as far as I know it is over. He comes home and we go to the store and i get him what he needs. But he has this attitude the rest of the night.
So I sit here going through my head trying to figure out what I did wrong. But I still for the life of me cant figure it out. I sit here thinking about all the changes I have made to make this relationship work. All the things I have done for him that others havent. How i have tried to help him build his self esteem and had his back in all things. How I have stuck my neck out for him so that he didnt have to.
Now on the other hand he has done for me. Bought my clothes, kept my house clean and purchased food. But why can i find more things that I have done for him than he has done for me? I dont want to bring any of those things up but they are swirling through my mind. I dont want to say the wrong thing. I dont want to argue. I dont want to point out all these things I did for him. So I continue to talk to myself to get it straight in my mind so I dont do or say the wrong things. Do I just stare straight ahead? Do I even talk? Do I just acknowledge all he says is wrong about me and let it ride? The more I talk to myself the more questions I have. I don’t know how to handle this. Maybe my instincts will kick in and tell me what to do when the time comes. Because all I know is that by talking to myself it is not getting any easier.
