I guess I need to start from the beginning. Give a short background on my foster daughter Ashley. Her mother didnt want her and her sister so she sent them to their father. He didnt want Ashley so she was bounced from house to house and into a girls home. Her father had to go to Iraq and decided he didnt want Ashley left in his house with her uncle while he was gone. I had only met her one time and it was the beginning of my fibromyalgia. She was 15 at the time and called me to ask if she could live with me because everyone told her I would help her. So now I have a 16 yr daughter a 12 yr son and now a wild unloved 15yo, and dealing with fibromyalgia. I did all I could to love her and raise her like a good mother would but it was too late. With me being so sick I couldn’t control her like I needed to so I had to send her to her family. She came back to me pregnant but let her mother (who didnt want her to begin with) talk her into an abortion. She got out of control again so back to family she went. The next time she came to me she had a newborn baby Aubrianna. This little girl became the love of my life and my grandchild. His family never even gave Ashley and Aubrianna a thought until just in the last year and they get mad cause that child calls me Granny but that is another story all together.
Well in saying all that I will jump to the present. Ashley is now 22 and Bree is 3. Him and his mother are jealous of my relationship with Bree but I have been there since she came into the world. James (baby daddy) is a dog. I really hate to say that about men but he has 4 or more baby mothers, 6 children that I know of and has never helped any of them. After Ashley got pregnant he wanted nothing to do with her, but that is his MO…he loves them till they get pregnant but then leaves them. Well with Ashley this was the first time he actually stayed with his child’s mother and the child. But now he has cheated on her and anything else he can get away with. He has played with my daughter’s mind so much that anything he says she believes and falls for. This man is 40 yrs old and knows how to play a naive girl that has had a hard life.
I know it sounds like I am rambling and perhaps I am. But I am at my wits end with this situation! I have talked, preached, screamed, bargined with her to stay away and not even talk to this man. I told her if he wants to see his daughter to take her to His mother’s house or he can pick her up from my house. But trying to talk to her is like talking to the wall. I keep telling her to call the child support office daily until they listen to her and arrest him or make him pay her. I tell her he is stalking her and that is a serious crime and she can have him locked up. But during those conversations all she does is give excuses as to why she cant do these things. I tell her to stop being so gullible and do what she needs to do. All she says is Mom I know I know…then fucking do it!!!! This situation is really killing me. What else can I say to this girl to get through to her? All I can do is pray and I pray all day and night over this girl. Lord Help US!
He has control over her his is very manipulative!! He tells her what she wants to her because he does not want to pay child support. You really need to sit her down and say “You have no where to live if you do not take care of your situation.” She will get mad at first take the baby and leave but will come back TRUST ME! He will never take care of her. He tells all the girls the same thing! You will be heart broken for a week or so but she will be back and know the truth! I am sorry you have to deal with this and have chronic pain bit you have to deal with it NOW! ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
I have done that over and over. He promises to do things. Wont do it, then will cause a big fight then do what he says. I have talked and talked till I am blue in the face. I did finally get her to call the child support office. But then he had her phone turned back on, brought her some money and is getting her cable back on. He is a Jekyll and Hyde. She never gets mad at me and always listens but says I know, I know but does the same stupid things over and over.
Sometimes you just have to let the people you love learn their own lessons. It’s a sad and sorry situation, but if you have faith in her, she’ll eventually leave him. Just keep being a strong support – but don’t nag, and don’t enable. Lately I’ve been feeling better about my fibro, the best thing I’ve found for stiff mornings is my ChiliPad – a mattress pad that lets you cool down (or heat up) your bed, mine lets me set any temperature between 46 and 118 degrees. It helps with pain and I have been getting more sleep because I’m not woken up by pain as easily. Hope this helps!